I want to write something, so I will. There’s twenty mintues till my class, so I have the time now. My english is just getting worse and worse, dunno why, maybe it’s because I don’t have any english class anymore, and because I can watch series with danish subtittles on netflix. Well, I’ll try anyway.
I’m still hospitalized, and I still have a crush on my exgirlfriend, who broke up 2 months ago. We still see each other sometimes, and sometimes we kiss. She doesn’t feel anything for me anymore, but it’s okay now, in the end we can’t control our feelings, so I can’t judge her. I’ve been hospitalized for almost 6 months now, my diagnose is Paranoid Schizophrenia, and I’m getting Seroquel Prolong. Friday last week was my final school day, 9th grade (we also have a class zero, so it’s 10 years). I’m 15 now, 16 in the end of august. I’ll move to a treatmentplace, it’s a kind of redisence for teenagers with mental problems. I’m looking forward to, I hope it’ll be like starting a new life. I’m going to be there untill I’m 18 or something, and get my own apartment and things like that. I hope i’ll get better eating habits, because now everyday is a binge day. Nobody really notice, because I hide it good. They just think I eat a little more than everybody else. And then I’m often buying something on my long walks. My weight is around 121-123 pounds, before the hospital it was down at 108-110 pounds, so there is a difference, and I can see it clearly. I hate my body now, and I know I wont be going to the beach a lot this year. I feel alone a lot, because I am.. I’m not seeing people much, mostly it’s my sister, or ex girlfriend, and that’s not even a lot. It’s every second week or something.. I don’t know.
But I have to stop now, school is calling. I’ll be writing more, for sure. I don’t hope anyone reads this, they’re wasting their time.
- me: time for bed
- stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
- brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
- muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
- skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
- ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
- eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
- mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
- body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
- me: ok